The week in review -- In which there's a lot going on in my life but I somehow manage to make this post boring

This was an eventful week. It was my first week back on the day shift, which I am very happy about!! I went to an awesome concert on Tuesday. A post about that is coming soon. 

I managed to work out several times, and I think I'm starting to see progress. I did a surprisingly good job at eating well ... Until Saturday, when I went to a friend's birthday party and ate a bunch of cake. OH WELL ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It was ice cream cake. Anyone would be a fool to turn down ice cream cake.

I found this picture of a baby beaver and can't stop looking at it and marveling at how cute it is:

I'm currently watching the documentary, "Cowspiracy," and I'm half feeling like a bad person/half intrigued.

Also, I feel like the only person who doesn't have big plans for Memorial Day weekend. At least I got to go to a party last night.

~~~

The graves of the Marines I lost, The New York Times. In honor of memorial day.

The ethics of Hodor: A conversation about how Game of Thrones’s latest twist fits in with George R.R. Martin’s typically cliché-busting portrayal of disability, The Atlantic.

This Facebook post about a group of women stopping a potential rape is very angering, yet inspiring. An important read.

Thanks, Jimmy Carter, for stating what should be obvious: Trump’s campaign is racist, The Nation.

Why your Facebook feed is filled with women selling essential oils and press-on nails, Vox. Has an old high school friend ever struck up a conversation with you, and you feel glad they reached out again ... Only for them to start pitching "It Works!" wraps or Advocare products to you? Yeah. That sucks. I found this article to be an interesting look at MLM businesses.

Wealthy sex assault survivor pledges to defeat GOP lawmaker who won’t let victims sue their abusers, Raw Story. 

It’s scary that many still supported Bruner for the state education board, The Dallas Morning News. Texas, I love you. But we have some political issues we need to work through. "These aren’t political leanings, this is wackiness. Bruner would have been a train wreck on the state board with influence over what our children are required to learn."

The Case of Thomas/Thomasine Hall: Intersex and Genderfluid Identity in the Colonial Period, The Toast. I'm probably going to post a link from The Toast every week until they shut down ... I may still be in denial about that :-(

Why six hours of sleep is as bad as none at all, Fast Company.

The Rise of the Religious Left: Why the old ‘moral majority’ is crumbling, Jennifer Butler for Medium. I really hate the notion many people seem to have that if you're Christian, you must be conservative/Republican. I'm so glad that many Christian leaders are defying this silly concept.
"Prominent Southern Baptist leader Russell Moore has repeatedly rebuked Trump and his inflammatory anti-immigrant sentiment in op-eds, media appearances and Twitter warning that Republican candidates might turn off evangelical voters with their lack of compassion. The Catholic Archbishop of Indiana defied his governor by taking in a Syrian refugee family. Even Pope Francis criticized presidential hopeful Donald Trump for his campaign promises to deport more immigrants and build a higher border wall that he would make Mexicans pay for."

Uniqlo Says It’s “Struggling” In The U.S., BuzzFeed. Uniqlo is awesome. This seems like a good excuse to make a big order so I can do my part to support Uniqlo in America ... :-P

In other retail news ... Claire's continues its glittery decline, The Cut. NO NO NO!!! Claire's was one of the mall stores that defined my childhood, along with KB Toys and The Limited Too -- both of which are also defunct. If the Bath & Body Works also goes, well ... That will be a sad, sad day. Hang in there, B&BW.
Dillard's, on the other hand, can close. I briefly worked there and it was 2 1/2 months of retail hell.

Every Single Pinky and the Brain Plan to Take Over the World, Ranked, io9. This list leaves out the episode where Brain disguises himself as Cher and enters a celebrity golf tournament to steal Chi Chi Rodriguez's golf club. Therefore, this list is highly flawed ... But still important.

President Jimmy Carter's Sunday School

On May 22, I did something I've been meaning to do since I moved to Georgia. I attended a Sunday school class taught by former President Jimmy Carter!

My awesome friend, Lo, and I woke up extra early and started the drive from Atlanta to Plains at about 6:30 a.m. We arrived at about 9 a.m. at Maranatha Baptist Church.

If you don't know much about Plains (like I didn't), it's a small town. SMALL. I had underestimated exactly how small it is. Its population is about 750 people. Likewise, the church was really small as well. I was expecting something big and fancy, but instead, Maranatha Baptist Church was smaller than the churches I had grown up in! Although it was small and not the fanciest church I'd been inside, it was very nice.

The exterior of Maranatha Baptist Church.

When we pulled up to the church, we were greeted by police officers. A bomb-detecting dog was sniffing around each car. Before we entered the church, Secret Service agents looked in my purse and used metal-detecting wands on us.

Secret Service agents were actually everywhere in the building.

We got into the church a full hour before the Sunday school class started. The pews were pretty full, so they sat us in the choir loft, which I think were awesome seats! As we waited, we listened to a woman, I think her name was Kim, give us rules and tell us pieces of trivia about Jimmy Carter.

Rules included:

• President Carter will go around the sanctuary and ask what states/countries people are from. Once on state/country has been called out, don't repeat it.
• While President Carter is asking where everyone is from is your ONE chance to take a picture of him.
• Don't stand up when President Carter enters the room.
• Don't clap for President Carter -- He wants those in attendance to take what they have learned and apply it to their everyday lives, which is "applause" enough for him.

Kim said she had grown up in Plains, and that her mother-in-law had dated Jimmy Carter when they were in high school. When Kim asked why her mother-in-law had broken things off with Jimmy Carter, she replied that she "wasn't impressed with him." :-P

Shortly before 10 a.m., I saw the former First Lady, Rosalynn Carter, be lead into the sanctuary and sit down in a pew. I inwardly freaked out.

Then, President Carter entered the room!

President Carter asking where everyone is from.

President Carter asking our section where we were from!

President Carter then spent a few minutes talking about what has been going on at the Carter Center ... But I was still in awe at seeing a former president just a few feet from me, so I can't really remember much about what he said, haha.

Then, the actual lesson started.

The lesson was based on Acts 2:37-47. During his lesson, President Carter spoke of the first time he ran for governor of Georgia, and lost. He said a big part of the platform of his opponent was racial segregation. Carter was deeply disappointed when he lost, and this tested his faith. Afterward he went to the northeast and did some mission work, which he considered to be a spiritual turning point.

He ran again for governor four years later and won ... And the rest is history ;-)

President Carter spoke of how important it is to love others. I wrote down something he said, "Be open to others, not self-centered and full of pride." I wish I would've brought a pen because I would have made more notes.

We stayed for the church service, and then afterward were able to take a photo with the Carters! We weren't allowed to initiate conversation with the Carters, but both said hello to me. I greeted them back and then thanked them. As I walked away, President Carter said "thank you, sweetheart." !!!!!!!!!!

Me with the Carters! A lot of people have asked about my dress ... it's from eshakti.com. Eshakti gift cards make awesome presents ... *cough cough.*

I want to put that on my resume. Ann Smajstrla: B.A. in Journalism from the University of North Texas; once called "sweetheart" by President Jimmy Carter ... Ever heard of him?

I can't stress how incredible this experience was. If you're in Georgia, GO. Heck, if you're not in Georgia, STILL GO.

At 91, President Carter is still sharp as a tack. He stood up and spoke for nearly an hour. He stayed afterward and took pictures with everyone who showed up.

What I love most of all is that President Carter seems so humble. Although he could be kicking back in a mansion in Atlanta if he wanted to, he lives in his tiny hometown, and helps the community he grew up in. He doesn't go to a big, fancy church. He goes to a small church where he teaches Sunday school to anyone and everyone.

Kim told a story that one time, the Carters invited all of the children in the area to Maranatha Baptist Church. They served pizza to all of them, and a Secret Service agent did magic tricks for all of the kids! How cool is that?

At 91, President Carter continues to work with Habitat for Humanity and do humanitarian work with the Carter Center. He will be serving other people until he dies. He's truly an inspiring individual.

I'm so glad I was able to see this man speak and see his humility firsthand. I hope he has a few years left in him ... He was able to beat cancer, so I have hope. :-)

I can't believe you're gone

A lot has been going on for me recently and I have a few things I've been meaning to write about. But I didn't want to write anything until I first made a post that is a tribute to my dogs. So, that's what this is.

Tuesday morning, my family's dog, Roxi died. She was 14. In October, our other dog, Chance, died at the age of 15. Both died from kidney failure.

Roxi and Chance had been a part of our family for more than half of my life. I could fill an entire blog with just stories about them.

Roxi (left) and Chance.

Roxi was a poodle and Chance was a Cairn terrier. They both had big personalities and were so different.

Roxi was definitely a lap dog -- She LOVED sitting in your lap or next to you and being petted. She didn't care for other dogs (including Chance, unfortunately) or some people outside our family. But she definitely loved us and let us know. She would sit at the window in my parents' bedroom and stare outside for long periods of time. She even recognized my dad's car, and upon seeing it pull into the driveway would bark and get excited.
She loved being the center of attention.

Roxi playing fetch just a couple of months ago ...

A video posted by Ann Smajstrla (@anntast1c) on May 26, 2016 at 11:32am PDT

Even as she aged, she still loved to play fetch. My sister sent me a video of Roxi playing fetch maybe a month or two before she died.

Chance was a sweetheart. I never once saw him growl at another person and he never bit anyone. Unlike Roxi, he LOVED other dogs and would gladly play with them. He was kind to Roxi and put up with all of her growling and barking at him. 

Chance doing what he did best - getting all muddy and gross!

Chance after a bath. One of my favorite pictures of him EVER.

He preferred to be outside. Sometimes it would be raining and we would try to get him to come in the house, but he refused. His favorite thing was probably going to my grandparents' farm in Victoria. One time when we were visiting, he even hid until we left (I was sooo scared that he had run off or was lost somewhere), and then came back out once we were gone and was discovered by my Grandpa. He got to live like a country dog for a week. Chance is buried at the farm -- a perfect resting place.

They were so much more than just pets.They were members of our family. They had feelings, thoughts and opinions. Likes and dislikes. They had big, dynamic, distinct personalities. I know they could sense when we were happy or sad.

I can't image what the past 16 years would have been like without them. They changed it for the better.

I can't believe they're gone. It will be weird to visit my parents' home without at least one dog running up to greet me.

I'll always have memories. But still ... Roxi and Chance, I can't believe you're gone.

The week in review -- James Bond & Jell-O shots

Right now my body hurts because one, I recently started working out for the first time in weeks, and two, I got drunk for the first time in months Friday night.

Me looking hawt doing a Jell-O shot.

Hey, I had reason to celebrate. Monday, I go back to working days for a month or so! Yay to not being nocturnal! And, my boyfriend recently made plans to come visit me! Woohoo!

But after this weekend I'm trying to clean up my diet -- minimal alcohol, minimal sugar ... Minimal fun, basically :-( & lots of fruits and veggies. I'm trying to have a good attitude about it ... *forced smile.* I'm also going to (try to) exercise daily.

~~~

Here are some of the EgyptAir crash victims, BuzzFeed. I think it's important to put human faces on terrible tragedies like this.

Guy Clark: One last look, Texas Monthly. Rest in peace.

People with mental illnesses deserve to be alive, Medium. I used to read XOJane, even if they sometimes posted content that made me cringe (e.g., they recently posted a ridiculous opinion piece written by this woman who says male OB/GYNs cannot be trusted and only pervy guys would want to enter that occupation ... EYE ROLL). 
However, they recently published an awful opinion piece that I believe is the last straw. It was actually called, "My former friend's death was a blessing." ... I KNOW. The author says she had a "friend" with schizophrenia and a myriad of other issues who "was beyond help." Therefore, she says, it was a "blessing" when her friend killed herself. This is so wrong on so many levels. That woman absolutely could have been helped. It may have been incredibly difficult and her treatment may have even taken years, but I truly believe that no one is "beyond help."
XOJane removed the article and wrote a formal apology. However, the author hasn't apologized. (The stupid OB/GYN article is still up, too)
Thankfully there have been many amazing responses, like the above linked Medium article. Do a Google search and you will find many more.
Peace out, XOJane. Nobody's death is a "blessing," and saying so is pretty detestable.

Graffiti from Pompeii. SO. INTERESTING. "Marcus loves Spendusa," ... "Atimetus got me pregnant." The ancient Romans were just like us!!

The name's Elba, Idris Elba, - and he must be James Bond, The Guardian. I support Idris Elba as the next James Bond 100 percent. This must happen!

Kevin Smith is doing a Buckaroo Banzai reboot TV show, Vulture. Watch the original Buckaroo Banzai movie if you haven't. It's awesome. And Buckaroo himself (Peter Weller) went to my alma mater -- UNT!

Women making waves: Gráinne Ní Mháille, Coast Monkey. This week I learned about Ireland's legendary 15th century pirate queen. Pretty badass.

Why everyone's talking about Sheryl Sandberg's powerful commencement speech, Verily.

For survivors of abuse like me, Donald Trump's interview with Megyn Kelly was excruciating, Vox. I cannot bring myself to watch the interview.

How paleo got me fat ... And Pop Tarts got me shredded, Biolayne. I don't think there's any one "perfect diet." Different things work for different people. I found this article really interesting.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, Relevant Magazine. Such a good article. Forgiveness is something that I, at times, have found hard to do. This article dispels a few myths about forgiveness.

The Christian myth of America's moral decay, John Pavlovitz. He always hits the nail on the head. "But the truth is America is not in decline any more than at any time in its history. This is just lazy religious-speak that seeks to paint the picture of everything being terrible so it can name drop the 'Last Days' and leverage the ensuing fear such language invariably creates in suggestible God-fearing folk."

So are we just not going to talk about how in 2001 both "Bridget Jones' Diary" and "Legally Blonde" had a pivotal scene where the protagonist was tricked into attending a non-costume party in a Playboy bunny costume, The Toast. I HAVE HAD THIS EXACT THOUGHT BEFORE! Glad The Toast is shedding light on this subject, 15 years later! This is why The Toast SHOULDN'T CLOSE!!!

I feel like there was a lot of heavy news this week, so here's a cute picture of a fox and a hound.

On being fit-ish

Ah, working out and eating clean. I have a love-hate relationship with these concepts.

I'd like to say it's "love" more often than not, but ... While I've been known to go on spurts of working out and eating right, just as often I have spurts of not feeling it.

In late 2014, I did a month of the Insanity workout, and shortly thereafter got the flu and strep throat at the same time ... And subsequently lost, like, 15 lbs. People would say "Wow! You look great!" or "You're getting so skinny, are you OK?" I'd reply, "Well, I don't know if this weight loss is attributed to doing one month of a back-breaking workout routine, or getting two crippling illnesses at the same time and having no appetite, or a little of both. But thanks!"

I honestly haven't stuck to a workout routine since the Insanity/flu incident. I'll jog or do the 30 Day Shred here and there, but I haven't been consistent with either.

I recently saw a T-shirt advertised on Facebook defining the phrase, "fit-ish." This, my friends, is me.

I wouldn't call myself "unhealthy and in desperate need of a lifestyle change," but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm doing the best I can for my health, either.

Some bloggers have a long, detailed "weight loss/fitness/body image" story that they share. I'll only share a couple aspects of mine, because it's not that interesting.

My dad has one of those metabolisms that allows him to eat whatever and not gain weight. I don't know why the genetic lottery didn't bless me with that trait. Instead, my dad gave me full, bushy eyebrows that must be dealt with every few weeks or else they'll turn into a unibrow (I'm really glad the "eyebrows on fleek" trend is a thing and I hope it sticks around for a while, because my eyebrows are FINALLY stylish!).

I can relate to Rachel Wilkerson-Miller when she said, in a blog post from years ago that seems to have been removed, "I'm the kind of girl who can gain five pounds just smelling pizza and lose five pounds by dropping cheese for a week."

To give my opinion on body image and the related issues people face (especially women on weight-related issues) would be beating a dead horse. This is an issue that has been discussed to death, and I don't know what else to add to the conversation except, "Yep. I get it. And it sucks."

Me

I've lost 15-20 pounds since high school on any given day, since my weight fluctuates. And, on any given day, I'm either OK with my weight or I want to lose anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds (I know, I know ... Roll your eyes. They're vanity pounds. Friends/family hate whenever I mention this).

I've spent about a month and a half being sedentary and eating OK (think lots of Lean Cuisines, candy whenever I feel like it and occasional alcohol. Fresh fruits/veggies only once in a blue moon). But I'm not happy with this routine, and I want to get into the habit of working out and eating right long-term; for many more reasons other than just losing weight (although that would be nice :-P).

Thursday I saw a personal trainer for the first time. I'm hoping that through personal training I can 1) establish a habit of doing SOMETHING every day, and 2) work on my upper body strength ... Because it's pretty feeble.

SO. Here's to starting on another healthy living kick and hopefully having the tenacity to stay with it for as long as possible ... Preferably, the rest of my life.

The week in review

I feel like my weeks are boring when I'm working nights. Thankfully, this week is my last week on the night shift for about a month or so.

I was sick for about a week recently, but I seem to be over that now ... Knock on wood. Because I'm the biggest hypochondriac ever, I saw two doctors in one week. Now, I'm pretty sure my issue is allergies. Since I've started taking Allegra regularly, I've noticed a big difference in my health.

Since I've been feeling better, I've decided I need to be working out regularly. I want to start jogging/walking again, so I bought a fanny pack to hold my keys and phone in when I'm out. Yes ... a FANNY PACK.

Isn't my life SO exciting?

~~~

'The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo' coming this summer. AMY SCHUMER'S BOOK HAS COVER ART AND A RELEASE DATE! AAAAAHHHHHHHJESFNFH3587983U5!!
Also- the latest Inside Amy Schumer was, in my opinion, one of the best episodes in the series. Mostly because of this sketch. (unfortunately the whole sketch isn't online. Blah.)

The Toast is closing! I'm so sad :-( They will be operating through June, I believe. So I'll try to enjoy it until then.

Gender is more than just anatomy, the New York Times.

The most successful female Everest climber of all time is a housekeeper in Hartford, Connecticut, Outside. WOW. Reading this makes me feel lazy. This woman is amazing. She's been through so much ...

Bless their hearts: Looks like Texas ain't for some folks who read the NY Times, The Dallas Morning News.

A late but necessary love letter to Joanie 'Chyna' Laurer, The Establishment. I watched Chyna on the early-2000's VH1 reality show, the surreal life. She was so much more than a wrestler, and later adult movie star. Did you know she traveled to Japan to teach English? She was a really interesting person who passed way too soon.

Service work is skilled work. Get over it. Medium.

An open letter to Trump supporters from his top strategist-turned-defector, XOJane. This is from a couple months ago, but it's a good read. A good ... frustrating ... read.

Ask the ethicist: Is it right for Facebook to suppress conservative news? Poynter. I'll answer this -- No. No it's not. I mean, can Facebook suppress news? It's a private company, so, sure. But should they? No. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, to paraphrase Justice Brandeis.

12 things I learned after losing 80 pounds and keeping it off for 13 years, Rachel Wilkerson Miller at BuzzFeed.

Chloë Sevigny: 'I now have a total disdain for directors,' The Guardian. A provocative profile of one of my favorite actresses.

My father, Woody Allen, and the danger of questions unasked, Ronan Farrow for The Hollywood Reporter. I think Woody Allen is a creep, and I believe Dylan Farrow when she says Allen molested her. I also believe Allen is a genius director. You can't deny that he's created amazing works of art. Question - should we still recognize and patronize artists, even if they're, well ... not good people?
Also- I think Frank Sinatra is actually Ronan Farrow's father. I mean, LOOK!

Emojis would show women doing more than painting their nails, the New York Times. “How was there space for both a bento box and a single fried coconut shrimp, and yet women were restricted to a smattering of tired, beauty-centric roles?”

25 places to shop when you break up with Forever 21, BuzzFeed. I'm mostly posting this here so I don't forget about it. F21 clothes are NOT for the long haul.

Girl, you don't need makeup

So ... I recently reposted a comic on Facebook that ended up ruffling some feathers and starting a thread of arguments in the comments.

This was it:

Let me clarify -- I wouldn't suggest saying this to anyone, and I don't think men who criticize women's makeup deserve to die (or that anyone should die for giving unsolicited opinions on someone else's appearance).

THAT BEING SAID,

There's a reason this comic struck a nerve with me based on personal experience; and I know other women feel the same way and have had similar experiences.

(A quick Google search confirmed my assumption.)

I don't mean to talk shit about anyone, but the above picture hit a personal nerve with me that pushed me to repost it and I think warrants explaining. I had an ex-boyfriend who will remain unnamed who had strong opinions about if I wore makeup and what clothes I wore. His opinion was that all women look better with no makeup. And he didn't think I should wear any makeup at all. Whatsoever.

Any time I wore makeup - and it didn't matter how little or how much I wore - he'd remind me of his opinion of makeup (as if I had forgotten). When I entered my 20s, my acne suddenly got worse than it ever was in my teens (God, WHY?), and said boyfriend would discourage me from wearing makeup EVEN when I had ugly, cystic acne all over my chin.

And here's the thing - I never asked him for his opinion. I never said, "Hey, boyfriend, does my makeup look ok today?" "What do you think of this makeup look?" "Do you approve?"

If I could turn back time, this is what I would say to ex-boyfriend whenever he commented on my makeup:

"I am a grown woman. I make my own decisions. I wear makeup for me, not for you. If you can't respect my decisions, then we have a problem."

Many other women likely feel this way. When I do my makeup, pick out my clothes, decide what color my hair should be and how I want it styled, I do it for me. I'm not trying to attract a man or impress anyone else. I base how I look off of what makes ME feel good.

Some days, putting on some makeup makes me feel more confident that if I weren't wearing any.

Other days, I think I look good how I woke up, or I'm feeling lazy, or I just don't want to put any makeup on!

This goes both ways. I think that, in general, people in relationships shouldn't try to micromanage their partner's appearance. I honestly couldn't dream of telling my boyfriend how to dress, or whether to wear glasses, or if he should shave his head.

Why? Because while him being hella handsome sweetened the deal between us, I didn't decide to date him solely based on his looks. On our first date, I wasn't thinking "Oh man, I can't WAIT to give him wardrobe tips!" as we ate at El Chico (Yeah, we went to El Chico on our first date. It was romantic).

Some men responded on Facebook, "Hey, if I tell a woman she doesn't need makeup, she should take it as a compliment! It means she's naturally pretty!"

Ok, I acknowledge that people may have good intentions when telling women they don't need makeup. But I would suggest framing the compliment in a different way. Think of saying, "You're a real natural beauty!" Or, "You always look good, regardless of whether you're wearing makeup." I would definitely take those as compliments rather than reacting negatively.

But as a general rule of thumb, don't give unsolicited opinions on other people's appearances in general - unless it's a flatout compliment like "That outfit looks great on you!"

If you don't support the wearing of makeup, then don't wear makeup.

As always, Amy Schumer has a hilarious sketch on this subject.

Good opening acts

I love seeing live music shows. Even if the artist/band isn't an act I particularly like, I will go to a show they're playing if invited, because shows can be so fun. (For example, I went to a KMFDM concert with a friend in Dallas, even though industrial music isn't my bag. I stood in the back of the mosh pit. People kept touching my arm and shouting, "ARE YOU OK?" I might have looked scared, but I was actually really intrigued. That was quite an experience.)

Loud music. The energy of the crowd. Seeing musicians you idolize in the flesh just a few feet in front of you. IT'S GREAT.

Another thing about live music shows that I truly enjoy is discovering new artists through opening acts. I have made a few favorite bands/singers/rappers this way, and I'd like to share them with you here!

Sweet Lee Morrow/Jesse Podunk

In 2007, I went to see The Polyphonic Spree at Stubb's BBQ in Austin for the first time. One of the opening acts was a band called Sweet Lee Morrow. I saw the Spree again, four years later, in Denton -- and Sweet Lee Morrow was back as an opening act. This time it was a solo act; Just Jesse Podunk switching between a guitar and a keyboard.

The song "Politics" is a bit depressing, but one of my favorites. Podunk is a Dallas native and makes a few D-town references ("strung out on Lover's Lane").

Another excellent song is "Wreck Your Car," although I can't seem to find that online.

I'm really pleased to see that Sweet Lee Morrow is still touring. Go see him if you get a chance.

Fat Tony

I credit Fat Tony with piquing my interest in rap music. In college I went to go see the band Mister Heavenly at Hailey's in Denton (neither Mister Heavenly nor Hailey's exist anymore, which makes me really sad). Rapper Fat Tony was the opening act.

I've never listened to much rap, or liked the rap I heard. I thought I wouldn't like Fat Tony, but once he began performing I was proven wrong.

After the show, one of my friends tweeted that she would be "skipping collard greens and beans for a Kit Kat," (some of his lyrics) and he tweeted back "Follow your dreams, shawty :-3."

The whole album, RABDARGAB, is good stuff.

He's also a Houston native. Being a Texan automatically wins points with me.


And The Kids

I saw And The Kids at, so far, the only concert I've been to in Atlanta -- I need to change that soon. They were opening for Tristen.

About halfway through their set, And The Kids' lead singer said that half the band was missing. Their bass player was in school, and the keyboardist had been deported.

Honestly, they sounded really great with just a guitarist/lead singer and a drummer. I think the fact that they could sound so great with just half their band present says a lot.

After hearing the songs "Secret Makeout Factory" and "Devastation Celebration," I was sold.

This band is pretty new and up-and-coming. I really hope they have a long, successful road ahead of them.

The week in review

I'm writing this at 1:30 a.m. ... And I just woke up. I was hoping to have a non-nocturnal schedule this weekend, but my body wouldn't cooperate. So here I am!

Not to complain too much, but it was kind of a sucky week. I got sick on Tuesday and didn't feel totally *better* until Saturday. (When I get sick it's made worse by the fact that I have anxiety issues. So even if I just have sniffles and a cough, I'm ALWAYS convinced that I actually have ebola or something and will drop dead tomorrow). I was working nights. This presidential election seems to really be going downhill ...

Here's hoping that next week is better!

I did FINALLY get the latest Vanity Fair issue with my girl Amy Schumer on the cover.

I've been contemplating adopting a cat for a while now. I LOVE animals. I grew up with two dogs, and I miss them a lot. Recently I took to the Atlanta Humane Society website to browse the available cats. One in particular caught my eye. On Saturday, I went to go meet him.

 

This is Little Bit -- Although he's not little. He's actually a pretty big cat. When I met him he was a bit shy at first ... But he loved being petted. He head-butted my hand. I LOVE the adorable head-butt thing that cats do!

I left without taking Little Bit home with me, but I really wanted to. I go back and forth about returning to the shelter and adopting him. He's a sweet cat and I know I could give him love and care for the rest of his life ... 

But I have cat-mitment issues! I don't know if I'm ready to take on the financial costs of having a fur baby! Or having to vacuum cat hair from my belongings on a regular basis! Or having to deal with a litter box! (Seriously, it might sound petty, but the litter box thing might be a deal breaker for me ... I've cleaned litter boxes before. VERY unpleasant.)

To cat, or not to cat? I dunno. I'll think about it over the next few days.

~~~

Horrified reactions from around the world to the possible Donald Trump nomination, BuzzFeed. The Trump disgust is universal.

The morning after in America: The GOP is seriously nominating Donald Trump for president, Texas Monthly.

Inside Palantir, Silicon Valley's most secretive company, BuzzFeed. SO INTERESTING!

What it's like to report from North Korea, by a journalist who's there right now, The Washington Post. Major respect to these journalists. I could never do this.

Why you shouldn't exercise to lose weight, explained with 60+ studies, Vox. Exercise is great for health, but apparently doesn't do much by itself for weight loss.

Calm down Internet, here's what that study on The Biggest Loser actually proves, XOJane.
"Athletes did not get their powerful muscles and toned looks by eating 1000 fewer calories than they burn every day. They got there by fueling their activities with the energy their bodies need. Somehow, I doubt that Abby Wambach and Michael Phelps go to bed hungry. And yet they aren't fat! Their metabolisms work in their favor because they take care of themselves. This is the exact opposite of what the contestants on The Biggest Loser experienced during their weight loss journey, and that is why their metabolisms have struggled to recover from such an extended and extreme period of starvation."

What kind of women think maternity leave is paid time off? XOJane. In honor of Mother's Day.

Dixie Chicks defend Beyoncé against criticism with scorching cover of "Daddy Lessons," Vanity Fair. I don't understand why there's this huge debate over whether or not "Daddy Lessons" is a country song. If Bey meant for it to be a country song, then it's a country song. No matter what genre you consider it to be, it's a GOOD song.

Stormtrooper Corps debuts new cosplay armor designed for women, Women You Should Know. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!

If campus carry works, it will devour the solar system, McSweeney's. "How many guns are necessary to remove even the most remote statistical risk of gun violence? The answer: 6.98×10^30 guns. If we gather this many guns in one place, I can personally guarantee that no one will be affected by gun violence."

Emma Watson's Met Gala outfit was made out of recycled plastic bottles, BuzzFeed. "The body of the gown is crafted from three different fabrics, all woven from yarns made from recycled plastic bottles (!). Plastic is one of the biggest pollutants on the planet. Being able to repurpose this waste and incorporate it into my gown for the ‪#‎MetGala‬ proves the power that creativity, technology and fashion can have by working together."
GAH, I mean, can Emma Watson get any more perfect? I think not.

How to ghost a toxic friend and NOT feel bad about it, Hello Giggles. Detoxing your life of people who only bring you down is SO important. Anyone who purposely does something to make you feel bad ≠ a friend. "Surround yourself with good people who will lift you up and support you." -- THIS x infinity.

DiGiorno's looks nothing like delivery, The Hairpin. Someone finally said it. THANK YOU.

I always appreciate it when celebrities bring awareness to mental health issues. Kristen Bell recently discussed her anxiety and depression in an interview. It's definitely worth watching.

Comedy Facebook pages you should follow

We're living in dark times, folks. An actual lizard person will likely get the Republican nomination for president. Talking about and legislating who can and can't pee in what restroom is en vogue. The looming threat of the Zika virus just won't go away. And worst of all, Aéropostale has filed for bankruptcy.

I, for one, think we can all use a good laugh!



via GIPHY

There are a few comedy Facebook pages that never fail to amuse me. I'm going to share them with you here, because if you, dear reader, are anything like me, you really, REALLY need to laugh right now.

Hope that Helps/Customer Service

The "Hope that Helps" Facebook page has improved my quality of life. You know those people who complain to businesses for the most ridiculous reasons? Well, "Hope that Helps" responds to those customers' complaints on Facebook in the best way possible.

If that weren't enough, Hope that Helps also trolls Joel Olsteen, and has done an amazing job responding to people losing it over Target's recent restroom policy.

Also, the creator of this page, Ben Palmer, lives in Atlanta and I've seen him do standup twice. He's hilarious.

Lizard People of New York

Speaking of Lizard People ...

You may be familiar with the blog/Facebook page/book, "Humans of New York." HONY is the project of photographer, Brandon Stanton. He takes portraits of strangers he encounters in New York City and interviews them. Stanton then posts his interviewees' photo online, accompanied by a quote from their interview.

The blog has become wildly popular, and has inspired similar blogs like Portraits of America and Women of Silicon Valley.

Lizard People of New York takes the HONY concept to a new, comedic (and better, IMO) level.

My all-time favorite:

Married to the Sea

Married to the Sea is a web comic that I've followed since high school. The creators take what seem to be stock illustrations and put clever (sometimes nihilistic) captions with them. 

I like to go to their website where there are 2,000+ comics you can click through. Visit the website sad. Close the window amused.

Lisa Frank

Yes, that Lisa Frank. The Lisa Frank who illustrated your elementary school trapper keepers with psychedelic rainbow kittens. While Lisa Frank products may have reached their heyday in the 90s and early 2000s and are rarely found in stores nowadays, LF art maintains an online presence. And her Facebook page is really something to behold.

Just about every day, LF posts square pictures that feature colorful illustrations with amazingly cheesy taglines.

You're right, Lisa. I should drink more.

THESE. MAKE. MY. DAY.

Several people have shared with me a super depressing Jezebel article about how the Lisa Frank company is apparently a toxic place to work, called Inside the rainbow gulag. Read it only if you want to cry right now. I'd like to believe the office has changed since the 90s ... I mean, Kacey Musgraves recently visited LF HQ, and I think the Dime Store Cowgirl has pretty solid judgement when it comes to who she affiliates herself with.

Related: Nihilisa Frank. A hilarious page that doesn't update nearly as often as I would like.

I hope you've found some satisfactory distractions from the quickly approaching apocalypse <3 <3 <3