A lot has been going on for me recently and I have a few things I've been meaning to write about. But I didn't want to write anything until I first made a post that is a tribute to my dogs. So, that's what this is. Tuesday morning, my family's dog, Roxi died. She was 14. In October, our other dog, Chance, died at the age of 15. Both died from kidney failure. Roxi and Chance had been a part of our family for more than half of my life. I could fill an entire blog with just stories about them.
Roxi (left) and Chance.
Roxi was a poodle and Chance was a Cairn terrier. They both had big personalities and were so different. Roxi was definitely a lap dog -- She LOVED sitting in your lap or next to you and being petted. She didn't care for other dogs (including Chance, unfortunately) or some people outside our family. But she definitely loved us and let us know. She would sit at the window in my parents' bedroom and stare outside for long periods of time. She even recognized my dad's car, and upon seeing it pull into the driveway would bark and get excited. She loved being the center of attention.
Even as she aged, she still loved to play fetch. My sister sent me a video of Roxi playing fetch maybe a month or two before she died. Chance was a sweetheart. I never once saw him growl at another person and he never bit anyone. Unlike Roxi, he LOVED other dogs and would gladly play with them. He was kind to Roxi and put up with all of her growling and barking at him.
Chance doing what he did best - getting all muddy and gross!
Chance after a bath. One of my favorite pictures of him EVER.
He preferred to be outside. Sometimes it would be raining and we would try to get him to come in the house, but he refused. His favorite thing was probably going to my grandparents' farm in Victoria. One time when we were visiting, he even hid until we left (I was sooo scared that he had run off or was lost somewhere), and then came back out once we were gone and was discovered by my Grandpa. He got to live like a country dog for a week. Chance is buried at the farm -- a perfect resting place. They were so much more than just pets.They were members of our family. They had feelings, thoughts and opinions. Likes and dislikes. They had big, dynamic, distinct personalities. I know they could sense when we were happy or sad. I can't image what the past 16 years would have been like without them. They changed it for the better. I can't believe they're gone. It will be weird to visit my parents' home without at least one dog running up to greet me.
I'll always have memories. But still ... Roxi and Chance, I can't believe you're gone.
Right now my body hurts because one, I recently started working out for the first time in weeks, and two, I got drunk for the first time in months Friday night.
Me looking hawt doing a Jell-O shot.
Hey, I had reason to celebrate. Monday, I go back to working days for a month or so! Yay to not being nocturnal! And, my boyfriend recently made plans to come visit me! Woohoo! But after this weekend I'm trying to clean up my diet -- minimal alcohol, minimal sugar ... Minimal fun, basically :-( & lots of fruits and veggies. I'm trying to have a good attitude about it ... *forced smile.* I'm also going to (try to) exercise daily.
Guy Clark: One last look, Texas Monthly. Rest in peace. People with mental illnesses deserve to be alive, Medium. I used to read XOJane, even if they sometimes posted content that made me cringe (e.g., they recently posted a ridiculous opinion piece written by this woman who says male OB/GYNs cannot be trusted and only pervy guys would want to enter that occupation ... EYE ROLL). However, they recently published an awful opinion piece that I believe is the last straw. It was actually called, "My former friend's death was a blessing." ... I KNOW. The author says she had a "friend" with schizophrenia and a myriad of other issues who "was beyond help." Therefore, she says, it was a "blessing" when her friend killed herself. This is so wrong on so many levels. That woman absolutely could have been helped. It may have been incredibly difficult and her treatment may have even taken years, but I truly believe that no one is "beyond help." XOJane removed the article and wrote a formal apology. However, the author hasn't apologized. (The stupid OB/GYN article is still up, too) Thankfully there have been manyamazingresponses, like the above linked Medium article. Do a Google search and you will find many more. Peace out, XOJane. Nobody's death is a "blessing," and saying so is pretty detestable. Graffiti from Pompeii. SO. INTERESTING. "Marcus loves Spendusa," ... "Atimetus got me pregnant." The ancient Romans were just like us!! The name's Elba, Idris Elba, - and he must be James Bond, The Guardian. I support Idris Elba as the next James Bond 100 percent. This must happen! Kevin Smith is doing a Buckaroo Banzai reboot TV show, Vulture. Watch the original Buckaroo Banzai movie if you haven't. It's awesome. And Buckaroo himself (Peter Weller) went to my alma mater -- UNT! Women making waves: Gráinne Ní Mháille, Coast Monkey. This week I learned about Ireland's legendary 15th century pirate queen. Pretty badass. Why everyone's talking about Sheryl Sandberg's powerful commencement speech, Verily. For survivors of abuse like me, Donald Trump's interview with Megyn Kelly was excruciating, Vox. I cannot bring myself to watch the interview.
Ah, working out and eating clean. I have a love-hate relationship with these concepts. I'd like to say it's "love" more often than not, but ... While I've been known to go on spurts of working out and eating right, just as often I have spurts of not feeling it. In late 2014, I did a month of the Insanity workout, and shortly thereafter got the flu and strep throat at the same time ... And subsequently lost, like, 15 lbs. People would say "Wow! You look great!" or "You're getting so skinny, are you OK?" I'd reply, "Well, I don't know if this weight loss is attributed to doing one month of a back-breaking workout routine, or getting two crippling illnesses at the same time and having no appetite, or a little of both. But thanks!" I honestly haven't stuck to a workout routine since the Insanity/flu incident. I'll jog or do the 30 Day Shred here and there, but I haven't been consistent with either. I recently saw a T-shirt advertised on Facebook defining the phrase, "fit-ish." This, my friends, is me.
I wouldn't call myself "unhealthy and in desperate need of a lifestyle change," but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm doing the best I can for my health, either. Some bloggers have a long, detailed "weight loss/fitness/body image" story that they share. I'll only share a couple aspects of mine, because it's not that interesting. My dad has one of those metabolisms that allows him to eat whatever and not gain weight. I don't know why the genetic lottery didn't bless me with that trait. Instead, my dad gave me full, bushy eyebrows that must be dealt with every few weeks or else they'll turn into a unibrow (I'm really glad the "eyebrows on fleek" trend is a thing and I hope it sticks around for a while, because my eyebrows are FINALLY stylish!). I can relate to Rachel Wilkerson-Miller when she said, in a blog post from years ago that seems to have been removed, "I'm the kind of girl who can gain five pounds just smelling pizza and lose five pounds by dropping cheese for a week." To give my opinion on body image and the related issues people face (especially women on weight-related issues) would be beating a dead horse. This is an issue that has been discussed to death, and I don't know what else to add to the conversation except, "Yep. I get it. And it sucks."
Me
I've lost 15-20 pounds since high school on any given day, since my weight fluctuates. And, on any given day, I'm either OK with my weight or I want to lose anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds (I know, I know ... Roll your eyes. They're vanity pounds. Friends/family hate whenever I mention this).
I've spent about a month and a half being sedentary and eating OK (think lots of Lean Cuisines, candy whenever I feel like it and occasional alcohol. Fresh fruits/veggies only once in a blue moon). But I'm not happy with this routine, and I want to get into the habit of working out and eating right long-term; for many more reasons other than just losing weight (although that would be nice :-P).
Thursday I saw a personal trainer for the first time. I'm hoping that through personal training I can 1) establish a habit of doing SOMETHING every day, and 2) work on my upper body strength ... Because it's pretty feeble. SO. Here's to starting on another healthy living kick and hopefully having the tenacity to stay with it for as long as possible ... Preferably, the rest of my life.
I feel like my weeks are boring when I'm working nights. Thankfully, this week is my last week on the night shift for about a month or so. I was sick for about a week recently, but I seem to be over that now ... Knock on wood. Because I'm the biggest hypochondriac ever, I saw two doctors in one week. Now, I'm pretty sure my issue is allergies. Since I've started taking Allegra regularly, I've noticed a big difference in my health. Since I've been feeling better, I've decided I need to be working out regularly. I want to start jogging/walking again, so I bought a fanny pack to hold my keys and phone in when I'm out. Yes ... a FANNY PACK.
So ... I recently reposted a comic on Facebook that ended up ruffling some feathers and starting a thread of arguments in the comments. This was it:
Let me clarify -- I wouldn't suggest saying this to anyone, and I don't think men who criticize women's makeup deserve to die (or that anyone should die for giving unsolicited opinions on someone else's appearance). THAT BEING SAID, There's a reason this comic struck a nerve with me based on personal experience; and I know other women feel the same way and have had similar experiences. (A quick Google search confirmedmy assumption.) I don't mean to talk shit about anyone, but the above picture hit a personal nerve with me that pushed me to repost it and I think warrants explaining. I had an ex-boyfriend who will remain unnamed who had strong opinions about if I wore makeup and what clothes I wore. His opinion was that all women look better with no makeup. And he didn't think I should wear any makeup at all. Whatsoever. Any time I wore makeup - and it didn't matter how little or how much I wore - he'd remind me of his opinion of makeup (as if I had forgotten). When I entered my 20s, my acne suddenly got worse than it ever was in my teens (God, WHY?), and said boyfriend would discourage me from wearing makeup EVEN when I had ugly, cystic acne all over my chin. And here's the thing - I never asked him for his opinion. I never said, "Hey, boyfriend, does my makeup look ok today?" "What do you think of this makeup look?" "Do you approve?" If I could turn back time, this is what I would say to ex-boyfriend whenever he commented on my makeup: "I am a grown woman. I make my own decisions. I wear makeup for me, not for you. If you can't respect my decisions, then we have a problem." Many other women likely feel this way. When I do my makeup, pick out my clothes, decide what color my hair should be and how I want it styled, I do it for me. I'm not trying to attract a man or impress anyone else. I base how I look off of what makes ME feel good. Some days, putting on some makeup makes me feel more confident that if I weren't wearing any. Other days, I think I look good how I woke up, or I'm feeling lazy, or I just don't want to put any makeup on! This goes both ways. I think that, in general, people in relationships shouldn't try to micromanage their partner's appearance. I honestly couldn't dream of telling my boyfriend how to dress, or whether to wear glasses, or if he should shave his head. Why? Because while him being hella handsome sweetened the deal between us, I didn't decide to date him solely based on his looks. On our first date, I wasn't thinking "Oh man, I can't WAIT to give him wardrobe tips!" as we ate at El Chico (Yeah, we went to El Chico on our first date. It was romantic).
Some men responded on Facebook, "Hey, if I tell a woman she doesn't need makeup, she should take it as a compliment! It means she's naturally pretty!" Ok, I acknowledge that people may have good intentions when telling women they don't need makeup. But I would suggest framing the compliment in a different way. Think of saying, "You're a real natural beauty!" Or, "You always look good, regardless of whether you're wearing makeup." I would definitely take those as compliments rather than reacting negatively. But as a general rule of thumb, don't give unsolicited opinions on other people's appearances in general - unless it's a flatout compliment like "That outfit looks great on you!" If you don't support the wearing of makeup, then don't wear makeup. As always, Amy Schumer has a hilarious sketch on this subject.
I love seeing live music shows. Even if the artist/band isn't an act I particularly like, I will go to a show they're playing if invited, because shows can be so fun. (For example, I went to a KMFDM concert with a friend in Dallas, even though industrial music isn't my bag. I stood in the back of the mosh pit. People kept touching my arm and shouting, "ARE YOU OK?" I might have looked scared, but I was actually really intrigued. That was quite an experience.) Loud music. The energy of the crowd. Seeing musicians you idolize in the flesh just a few feet in front of you. IT'S GREAT. Another thing about live music shows that I truly enjoy is discovering new artists through opening acts. I have made a few favorite bands/singers/rappers this way, and I'd like to share them with you here! Sweet Lee Morrow/Jesse Podunk
In 2007, I went to see The Polyphonic Spree at Stubb's BBQ in Austin for the first time. One of the opening acts was a band called Sweet Lee Morrow. I saw the Spree again, four years later, in Denton -- and Sweet Lee Morrow was back as an opening act. This time it was a solo act; Just Jesse Podunk switching between a guitar and a keyboard. The song "Politics" is a bit depressing, but one of my favorites. Podunk is a Dallas native and makes a few D-town references ("strung out on Lover's Lane"). Another excellent song is "Wreck Your Car," although I can't seem to find that online. I'm really pleased to see that Sweet Lee Morrow is still touring. Go see him if you get a chance. Fat Tony
I credit Fat Tony with piquing my interest in rap music. In college I went to go see the band Mister Heavenly at Hailey's in Denton (neither Mister Heavenly nor Hailey's exist anymore, which makes me really sad). Rapper Fat Tony was the opening act. I've never listened to much rap, or liked the rap I heard. I thought I wouldn't like Fat Tony, but once he began performing I was proven wrong. After the show, one of my friends tweeted that she would be "skipping collard greens and beans for a Kit Kat," (some of his lyrics) and he tweeted back "Follow your dreams, shawty :-3." The whole album, RABDARGAB, is good stuff. He's also a Houston native. Being a Texan automatically wins points with me. And The Kids
I saw And The Kids at, so far, the only concert I've been to in Atlanta -- I need to change that soon. They were opening for Tristen. About halfway through their set, And The Kids' lead singer said that half the band was missing. Their bass player was in school, and the keyboardist had been deported. Honestly, they sounded really great with just a guitarist/lead singer and a drummer. I think the fact that they could sound so great with just half their band present says a lot. After hearing the songs "Secret Makeout Factory" and "Devastation Celebration," I was sold. This band is pretty new and up-and-coming. I really hope they have a long, successful road ahead of them.
I'm writing this at 1:30 a.m. ... And I just woke up. I was hoping to have a non-nocturnal schedule this weekend, but my body wouldn't cooperate. So here I am!
Not to complain too much, but it was kind of a sucky week. I got sick on Tuesday and didn't feel totally *better* until Saturday. (When I get sick it's made worse by the fact that I have anxiety issues. So even if I just have sniffles and a cough, I'm ALWAYS convinced that I actually have ebola or something and will drop dead tomorrow). I was working nights. This presidential election seems to really be going downhill ...
Here's hoping that next week is better!
I did FINALLY get the latest Vanity Fair issue with my girl Amy Schumer on the cover.
I've been contemplating adopting a cat for a while now. I LOVE animals. I grew up with two dogs, and I miss them a lot. Recently I took to the Atlanta Humane Society website to browse the available cats. One in particular caught my eye. On Saturday, I went to go meet him.
This is Little Bit -- Although he's not little. He's actually a pretty big cat. When I met him he was a bit shy at first ... But he loved being petted. He head-butted my hand. I LOVE the adorable head-butt thing that cats do!
I left without taking Little Bit home with me, but I really wanted to. I go back and forth about returning to the shelter and adopting him. He's a sweet cat and I know I could give him love and care for the rest of his life ...
But I have cat-mitment issues! I don't know if I'm ready to take on the financial costs of having a fur baby! Or having to vacuum cat hair from my belongings on a regular basis! Or having to deal with a litter box! (Seriously, it might sound petty, but the litter box thing might be a deal breaker for me ... I've cleaned litter boxes before. VERY unpleasant.)
To cat, or not to cat? I dunno. I'll think about it over the next few days.
Stormtrooper Corps debuts new cosplay armor designed for women, Women You Should Know. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!! If campus carry works, it will devour the solar system, McSweeney's. "How many guns are necessary to remove even the most remote statistical risk of gun violence? The answer: 6.98×10^30 guns. If we gather this many guns in one place, I can personally guarantee that no one will be affected by gun violence." Emma Watson's Met Gala outfit was made out of recycled plastic bottles, BuzzFeed. "The body of the gown is crafted from three different fabrics, all woven from yarns made from recycled plastic bottles (!). Plastic is one of the biggest pollutants on the planet. Being able to repurpose this waste and incorporate it into my gown for the #MetGala proves the power that creativity, technology and fashion can have by working together." GAH, I mean, can Emma Watson get any more perfect? I think not. How to ghost a toxic friend and NOT feel bad about it, Hello Giggles. Detoxing your life of people who only bring you down is SO important. Anyone who purposely does something to make you feel bad ≠ a friend. "Surround yourself with good people who will lift you up and support you." -- THIS x infinity. DiGiorno's looks nothing like delivery, The Hairpin. Someone finally said it. THANK YOU. I always appreciate it when celebrities bring awareness to mental health issues. Kristen Bell recently discussed her anxiety and depression in an interview. It's definitely worth watching.
